HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL
AMCI OF ITALY MATCH FISHING
If in these days you feel a bit 'tired, depressed and nervous
Escape A of this earthly paradise
photos downloaded from the site www.screensaver.com
turning AND AGAINST ANY BALLS ....... . .... A BIT OF HUMOR
"When you really love the words do not serve," said the little fish to fish.
***
Man and 'Hunter, the woman angler.
***
octopus (Octopus male) to the pulp (polyp female): "Come on .... make the meatballs."
***
What 'the clam more' bad? The calf.
***
What 'bitter favorite fish? Fernet Branca.
***
branchiolavano fish at night in the dark.
***
Sea and 'calm, smooth as oil. "Think how happy sardines."
***
Where do they go to study fish? On the sandbanks. *** Two
scampi meet: "See you tonight." "No, I can not, are invited to a cocktail." *** Two
scampi meet: "How's your wife?". "But I do not know, and 'went to a cocktail and not' yet session. "
***
What others say mackerel fish? mackerel! mackerel!
***
" Why 'fish have thorns? "." Perche' in the sea there ' current.
***
What does a goldfish in a bottle of mineral water? Jaws, 'cause you and' gassed!
*** What do you call the teacher of the history of fish ? sturgeon.
***
The fish most 'fast? Tuna Unbeatable.
***
What' the animals 'fastest in the world? The octopus,' cause is in octopus ... sition!
***
Noe ' before the flood brings all the animals on the ark two by two. There comes a lion with the lioness, the dog with the bitch and so 'on. All of a sudden get a fish on its own: "Who are you?". "The sawfish."
Two friends, a fisherman, a hunter ee, every time you tell their adventures, but over the years more and more nonsense shoot 'large. One day they decide to say the truth for the future '.
days after you see and the fisherman said: "Yesterday I was fishing and I caught an eel of 20 meters." "Boom!". "But we agreed that no one doubted the stories of others." "Okay, I believe." It 's the time of the hunter to tell his adventures: "Yesterday I I was in the mountains and cut down a huge elk, but I was surprised by the keeper and then I had to shoot. "" But what about? "." Of course! Then they escaped by car but the police stopped me and then I had to shoot well with them. "" But it's the 'but what about? "." And then I hid in a bar and was surrounded by a crowd that wanted to lynch me, then I took the rifle ...". "And damn you! I do not want to believe that ...". And the hunter: "Listen, or shorten the eel or I make a killing!"
***
Cannibals Catholics on Fridays' eat only fishermen.
** *
The day after the purchase of an aquarium, the wife asks her husband carabiniere: "Caro, hai cambiato l'acqua ai pesci ?". "No! Non hanno ancora bevuto quella di ieri !".
***
Scienziato con un dito nell'acquario sta spiegando al carabiniere la teoria del fluido mentale: "Pesci saltate!" e i pesci saltano.
Prova il carabiniere con il dito nell'acqua: "Glu glu glu".
***
Sai come fa un carabiniere a friggere il pesce? Mette i pesci in padella. Mette il coperchio sopra la padella. Dopo un po` il carabiniere bussa e i pesci: "Chi e`?". "Carabinieri!". E i pesci: "Maledizione, siamo fritti!"
***
Carabinieri all'acquario: "Che razza sono?". "Squali". "Squelli".
*** A policeman goes' from a colleague with two hats' s order in his hand and asks him a riddle: "Tell me Locascio, can you tell me 'cause these two hats are 2 fish?". "2 fish? What do you mean? No, I do not know! Why '?". "Why 'are i-snappers." Locascio scompiscia you laughing and then says: "What a beautiful, immediately run to tell the sergeant." Rushes into his office: "Marshal, you know 'tell me' cause these two hats are 2 fish?". "No, I do not know! Why '?". "Why 'are u-guali."
***
Ridge No. 1 for a fisherman: to hate the taste of fish.
***
Ridge for a fisherman # 2: having a wife named Alice Sardinia.
***
Ridge for a fish to get lost in a glass of water.
***
What 'cod? It 's a uccelluzzo that fischiuzza.
***
I saw fishermen die of hunger because 'they did not know which way to turn.
***
They told me: "Do you eat fish, 'cause it contains phosphorus.
"So I get smart?". "No, but you can see at night."
***
"Savior, watch the fish ball." "Ball? Muto must be!" Bang Bang!
***
Sea and 'salty' cause and 'full anchovy.
***
rifle-shooting, hammer-pounding, love-love. "So, I would prefer that you do not love me," said the worm to the fisherman.
*** A woman goes to a sporting goods store to buy a fishing rod to give to her husband for his birthday. In the shop behind the counter and the only employee 'a guy with dark glasses and a dog who asks: "Can I help you?". "Sure, I would like a fishing rod, I can 'talk about this?". The seller says, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm blind and I can not see the barrel to which you refer. However, if it takes me to the door and here I am able to describe it according to the noise it makes." The lady takes the barrel and the door to the cash from the dealer end. This is agitated and said: "This' a Zebco 250, glass fiber, 6-inch, medium-range missiles. Costa $ 15. The lady says: "Excellent!" and take another barrel. The dealer and the shake says: "This' one Orion 35C, graphite, 6-inch, long-range, for use with an ultra-light equipment. Costs 20 dollars." Greatly impressed she decides to buy the second barrel. Meanwhile the lady let out a big fart loud and smelly, but not going to apologize to the man and as' blind and has no idea who she is. The seller at the counter says, "So, are $ 25. And the lady: "But how? $ 25? She said $ 20! "." Sure, lady, $ 20 per barrel, $ 3 for recall dell'anitra and $ 2 for the bait-based worms. "
*** hotel in the lake frequented by fishing enthusiasts . It has a pair of young newlyweds embraced tenderly. The door I think the two are on their honeymoon from 'them the room pink, but very surprised when after dinner he sees out the man with the cane and with all the tools Fisheries and sees him return the next morning at dawn. Cosi 'going on for several days in a row. One day, made brave, strong man and asks him why, instead of going fishing does not make love to his wife . The man quietly replied: "I do not think either! Has gonorrhea. But the goalkeeper insists: "But then why 'do not you love hearing?". "Oh no! Has periodontal disease." And the doorman, "But then you make love anal." And the man: "Not that! Has diarrhea." And the goalie shocked: "Good heavens! Gonorrhea, diarrhea, periodontal disease, but 'cause he married?". "I knew that worms."
***
What 'more fish' bad? The carpaccio.
***
was so 'wet that house the furniture was gnawed by eels.
*** "Do you lighthouse 'pay salty," said the sole after arguing with herring.
***
What 'the fish has always cold? Anchovy.
Sirena *** psychoanalyst: "Doctor, I do not feel it 'flesh' fish ...".
***
What 'more fish' greedy? -The one with ice cream!
***
A police officer, very young, enters for the first time in a very chic restaurant. See the Menu, then, very tentatively called the waiter and asked him: "I have never eaten caviar and today I just want to try ... But tell me: what `???". "I'm sturgeon eggs, sir." "Fine ... I'll bring two soft-boiled."
*** A sister is fishing and takes a huge trout to do for dinner.
Another fisherman sees her and says, 'Anvedi that fish ... for God. " The nun, "Lord, should not talk like that '... I'm a nun."
man to recover, "But her sister, and that 'the name of the fish: fish is called God's sake." The sister returned to the convent and is superior to "Mother, look what I got fish By God." "But sister, where talk like that '." "But mother, and that 'the name of the fish: Fish For God's sake." Then the mother superior, "Well, give me the fish that clean up God's sake." While the superior cleaning the fish, comes into the kitchen to browse the monsignor in the kitchen. The superior, "Father, look what a beautiful fish God!". "Sister, that's fine and that 's a nice fish, but not 'the case to do these exclamations. "" But my lord, and' the very name of the fish: Fish For God's sake. "Then the lord says, 'All right, then give it to me that I cook." That night dinner in the convent there 's also a novice young priest just arrived, and when the fish is served at the table exclaims, "Damn that fish." Then the nun says,' I caught this fish I Marry. "The Superior: "And I cleaned the fish God's sake." Finally, my lord, "I've cooked the fish God!". The novice as to the course of the evening exclaims: "To me 'I'm fucking place already' I Like ... "***
Listing journalistic: Sawfish plaice tries to get out of loneliness.
*** "I love you," said the fisherman to the worm.
*** What do you need an inexperienced fisherman? Of advice.
0 comments:
Post a Comment